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| closing the chapter
i was just thinking about blogspot today, and the issues they have with comment spam, and look, right below i got my very first xanga spam comment! hooray!
this xanga, complete with communist colors, was meant as a temporary posting place in china, and now i'm moving back to my old site. that will mean lots of photos when i get back to the us :}
goodbye china, goodbye 2005, goodbye xanga.
such a great adventure, huh. | | |
| back in singapore
and out of the great firewall! now that i can actually see my blog again, i think i'll be migrating from xanga back to blogspot.
i can be reached at 96977351. | | |
| 2005-2006
there will be more to say on this when i get back to singapore; i need to be at the airport in 6 hours including sleep and i just started packing.
quick thoughts:
-i stepped out the door of block 1, a splash of water from a higher window, my phone ringing in my pocket and i stepped back in. you keep calling me back - this won't do - i might have to love you.
-i watched rent on the 31st. i finally got one song glory, yes, candice, it took me that long. got musically tingly during that another day/not today bit and the canon thing about will i lose my dignity - simply the best back to back sequence. there's something about soaring tenors in canon with warm altos that sends a shiver up the spine. seasons of -
-quick countdown at hou hai over cards and dice - perhaps not the best venue but nice to have one all the same. beats the last two years.
-dvds with siangwei- harold/kumar and without a paddle - note the common theme. i'll miss that kid. geesh.
-packing, and eventually dinner with the xinsheng people at yi xin. ling took the ordering into her own hands and yesss everything hit the spot. one of the best meals i've had since coming here.
-lion king for drinks after with the girls without finals - ling, sw and chengen. was subjected to - girl talk.
-packing, packing, packing.
way too fast, way too fast.
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| two more
"irony" - hah, and the phone rings the moment i click submit.
"space shuttle challenger" - my heart.
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| 2 more days of 2005
i once understood and i refuse to understand? sorry, i never understood. i was not privy to the months of longing for another person, nope, nor the weeks of longing for the next person. all that happened in separate windows that i initially had the good faith not to look at. wholly to be a fool, when spring is in the world, and now it's winter and the cold white reality of the nature of flowers starts falling. i freely accepted a week that i still do not know anything about - i then became a week which, well, someone else knew really well about. i never really understood what "will never wholly kiss you" meant, nope. sure do now. somewhere along the line i became a cheap drive-in motel on the interstate, a comfortable stopping point between the shuttling to and from destinations - no, not a destination in itself.
that's "home", then? a resting place between one adventure and another. and "freedom"? the right to swop your rusty handcuffs in for a new pair. "love"? something you mass mail, blind carbon copy to a list with free subscription. "truth"? that's another word for appendix - something you know is apparently there and would not enjoy being taken away from you, but you don't really know what it's for, huh. "true, honest feeling" - if truman had that kind of true, honest feeling he'd have dialled up hiroshima seven hours later and said 'god i'm so so sorry i was being an asshole. '
perhaps we need new vocabulary.
"escalation" - everyone's written papers on "if you nuke me i'll nuke you back" but no one ever did any deep analysis into "if you dont stop launching your nukes i'm going to keep launching more, shithead" and the inevitable "aw fuck, i'm going to launch them all anyway" that you get when you give fireworks to kids.
"detente" - the pretense that the other half of the world doesn't exist so that we can go back to fucking ourselves up with our system of choice.
"lebensraum" - a really funky-sounding excuse.
"intifada" - the shouting, the sobbing, the words hurled like stones pinging off armor as the treads of reality roll on.
"jihad" - what happens when you don't understand.
"foreign policy" - the fundamentally impossible task of dealing with people on the other side of the world.
"ceasefire" - when you start shopping for new ammo.
"right to return" - something you scream about when you have to deal with that impossible concept of "home", but hell, you're going to be a refugee forever anyway if you don't move on.
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